


Popcorn

by pure1magination



Category: Fantastic Four, Marvel, X-Men
Genre: Banter, Fluff and Humor, Humor, M/M, Popcorn, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-12
Updated: 2014-10-12
Packaged: 2018-02-20 19:04:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2439479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pure1magination/pseuds/pure1magination
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I bet I can pop more at once than you can," Johnny challenged.</p>
<p>"Oh no ya don'. We are not stahtin' a popcorn-poppin' contest."</p>
<p>"Sure we are. We just did!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Popcorn

The room was most definitely too full. Despite the ridiculous amount of couches owned by Tony Stark, between the combined company of The Avengers, the Fantastic Four, and at least half a dozen X-Men, the place was packed. Thor and Ben dominated two couches. Rogue refused to sit anywhere near anyone, so she had a chair to herself. Thor and Storm were chatting it up, as were Ben and Bruce, and Clint and Sam. Tony and Loki were giving each other sex eyes across the room. Cap and Bucky were crowded into a chair that neither of them should be able to fit onto alone, much less together.

And somehow in the middle of it all, Johnny Storm ended up sitting next to Remy Lebeau. They each made fun of each other's outfits-

"Why so many logos, mon ami? Ya are like a walkin' billboard."

"Why the pink spandex? You're like a walking Victoria's Secret ad."

"But Ah do not have breasts."

"With pecs that size? May as well."

And so on.

Tony had picked the movie because "My tower, my rules." No one was really paying attention to it though.

A few of them tried to watch it, but between the myriad of introductions and deep conversations about birds and thunder and being indestructible, the movie was really more background noise than anything.

Johnny and Remy were two of the people trying to watch the film.

Which would be a lot easier if Johnny would shut up.

"Can you even _see_ past that flourescent pink t-shirt of yours? Is that even a t-shirt? Seriously what the fuck are you wearing?"

Remy sighed. "It's a shirt, mon ami. Can ya hear anyt'ing past dat ego o' yours?"

Johnny laughed. "I can hear plenty! But can you? Does that face-frame cover your ears too? Why the fuck are you even wearing that!"

Remy rolled his eyes and pointed to an exposed ear. "Dere. Mah ears are not covered. Ah can hear jus' fine."

"Yeah? Can you hear this?" Johnny cupped his hands around his mouth and stage-whispered,  _"Your outfit is awful."_

Remy poked Johnny's navy blue spandex. "Ya are wearin' spandex from head to toe, covered in advatisements, an' you're sayin'  _mah_ outfit is awful?"

Johnny nodded. "Your outfit sucks. Black spandex pants? Really? And what's with those pink stripes? Want to blend in with the mutated tigers at the zoo?"

"Are ya makin' fun of mutants, mon ami?" Remy's tone turned dangerous.

Johnny held up his hands. "No no no, I'm not making fun of  _mutants_ , that would be  _stupid,_ considering I  _am_ one. What I  _am_ making fun of is your  _outfit._ Why the trenchcoat? Trying to cover up your other fashion faux pas? Because I can tell you right now, it's not working."

Remy was about to object when Johnny went on. "Or is it because you're a flasher or something? You  _do_  know that people don't look kindly on tan trench coats in New York right?"

Remy had had just about enough of Johnny lampooning his outfit. "Are ya sayin' ya would like tuh see me naked, homme? Or is mah outfit  _dat_ much more interestin' than the movie?"

Johnny pointed to the movie with raised eyebrows. "Have you been watching it? Dude, this is one of the worst action movies I've ever seen."

Remy was still annoyed. "Ah didn't hear ya deny it." He posed next to Johnny, spandex-clad body on display. "Would ya rather Ah lounge around naked?"

Johnny gulped. "I'm gonna get some popcorn." He rushed to the kitchen. A chorus of voices called after him also asking for popcorn. He ignored them. Upon their complaints when he returned, he rolled his eyes and ordered them to "Get your own popcorn!" He sat back down next to Remy and made to start popping both bags in front of him, just to show off, and because he knew he did it better than the microwave, when Remy grabbed his wrist.

"Whoa dere, homme. Ya gonna pop it all at once?"

"Uh. Yeah?"

Remy Lebeau deftly snatched a bag of popcorn away from Johnny and opened it. He took out one kernel of popcorn. The red parts of his eyes glowed as he charged the kernel until it popped. He opened his mouth and placed the kernel on his tongue, giving Johnny a cocky look as he did so.

Johnny raised his eyebrows, opened his own bag, and heated up a kernel between his hands. Once it popped, he placed the kernel on his own tongue, looking Remy in the eyes as he did so.

Remy smirked and popped another one, satisfied that he'd taught Johnny a lesson.

But Johnny smirked wider and popped several kernels between his hands at once. He shoveled in the mouthful of perfectly popped kernels, looking very smug about it.

Remy raised an eyebrow and followed suit. 

"You sure those are safe to eat?" Johnny asked before shoveling in another mouthful of freshly popped kernels.

"Ah wouldn' eat dem if dey weren't."

"Yeah but doesn't the explody thing make stuff.." He gestured vaguely with his hands. "Unstable?"

"Yeah. So?"

"So... won't it like, explode in your stomach or something?"

Remy's eyes widened. He clutched his stomach in a dramatic fashion. "Yah're right! Oh mah stars! Ah... Ah can feel it! It's explodin' inside meh! AH'M COMIN' ELIZABETH!!" He pretended to die dramatically.

"You're... mocking me, aren't you."

Remy abruptly straightened and popped more popcorn in his mouth with an innocent expression.

Johnny narrowed his eyes and ate another handful, chewing slowly and staring at Remy. "Bet mine is warmer though. 'Cause you're just making it explode, right? By making the molecules unstable? That doesn't warm it up does it?"

Remy shrugged. "De unstable particles do tend tuh heat up."

"Yeah but, is it  _hot_ , is what I'm saying. Like-- here." He handed Remy some freshly popped kernels. "Gimme some of yours. I wanna feel 'em."

Remy raised an eyebrow and decided to go along with it. He held out his handful.

Johnny frowned. "No, both hands. I'm gonna give you some of mine."

Remy's eyebrow inched higher and he offered his empty hand as well.

Johnny dumped some of his handful into Remy's open hand and took some popcorn from Remy. "Yeah. See? Mine are definitely warmer."

Remy shrugged. "I like dem dis way." He ate some more to prove his point.

"Yeah but try mine."

Remy raised an eyebrow at him and paused mid-chew.

"Do it!" Johnny urged.

Remy shook his head, amused at Johnny's persistence, and ate some of Johnny's popcorn to humor him. Johnny stared at him expectantly. Remy rolled the popcorn around in his mouth, thinking. Considering. He swallowed. "Still like mahn betta."

Johnny threw his hands over his head in disbelief. "WHAT!"

Remy popped a fresh handful and offered it to Johnny.

"No way! Those will explode in my gut!" He turned to his sister and shouted dramatically, "HE'S TRYING TO KILL ME!"

Susan ignored him.

Remy held his hand closer to Johnny's face.

Johnny backed away. "Oh no you don't! You aren't gonna feed that to me! You'll grab my face and make my head explode!!"

Remy stared at him in offended disbelief. "It doesn' work on humans, homme."

"What?!"

"Mah power. It doesn' work on humans." He held up a finger and poked Johnny's cheek to demonstrate.

Johnny closed his eyes and waited for his imminent death. Upon its failure to arrive, however, he cautiously opened his eyes and looked at Remy. Remy's eyes were glowing.

"That is  _way_ cool," Johnny enthused.

Remy offered his popcorn again. "Now will ya try it, homme?"

Johnny contemplated the popcorn. "It's going to explode inside me and kill me isn't it."

Remy sighed, rolled his eyes, and ate it.

"...Okay fine. Pop me a handful. Now I'm curious."

Remy complied and offered the handful to Johnny.

Johnny crossed himself and ate the popcorn. He blinked in surprise. Swallowed. "Huh."

"Huh?" Remy repeated, nonchalantly eating another handful.

"It's... not bad," Johnny admitted.

"O' course it's not bad. It's popcorn. De only way tuh mess it up is tuh ovacook it. Which Ah neva do."

"Yeah well neither do I!"

Remy was unimpressed.

"I bet I can pop more at once than you can," Johnny challenged.

"Oh no ya don'. We are not stahtin' a popcorn-poppin' contest."

"Sure we are. We just did. HEY!" Johnny called. "Who wants popcorn!" Several hands went up. Johnny smirked triumphantly.

Remy sighed and followed Johnny to the kitchen.

* * *

 

Five minutes later, Johnny was on the floor of the kitchen laughing hysterically, Remy was looking very surprised and amused at the same time, Tony had wandered in to ask what all the noise was about, and he had come to find the entire kitchen flooded with popcorn. His expression said something along the lines of  _Do I even_ want  _to know?_   _  
_

Remy took one look at Tony's expression and lost it. He burst out laughing and had to lean against a pantry so he didn't topple over and join Johnny on the floor.

By the end of the night, even Thor was tired of popcorn.


End file.
